別跟平面設(shè)計師約會的50條理由50 reasons not to date a graphic designer


不管你是否真的如前49條一樣如此怪胎，重點是你一定都會像最后一條那樣，每周工作七天，每天工作24小時。

 

1、They are very weird people.


       他們是非常奇怪的人類。

  
 2、There are billions of them in the world, like colors on the screen of your computer.


       世上有千百萬這樣的怪胎，多得就像你電腦屏幕上的色彩。

  
 3、They will analyse conversations in layers.


       他們會像對待圖層一樣，逐層分析談話的含義。

  
 4、You will spend the day assembling furniture from IKEA.


       你得花一整天跟他們一起組裝宜家傢俱。


 5、They drink and eat all kinds of weird shit just because they like the packaging.


       他們向來不管什么都往嘴里倒，只因為他們喜歡那些食物的包裝。


  6、They hate each other.


       他們討厭彼此。


 7、You'll come out the last out of the movies because you have to see the full list of credits.


       欣賞完一部電影之后，你會是最后一個走出影院的人，因為你得陪他看完演職員字幕才能走。


 8、They can't change a light bulb or without making a sketch.


       他們換不了一個燈泡，或者說，他們得先畫張草圖才行。


 9、They fuck up all the tables with their cutters.


       如果有人打擾到他們，他們會掀桌子給你看。


 10、They rather study the paisley pattern on your outfit than listen to what you have to say.


        他們寧愿研究你外套上的佩斯利渦漩花紋，也不會想去聽你說什么。


11、They will fill your house with magazines and whatever is out there that has drawings.


         他們會在你家堆滿雜志，或者隨便什么有著圖畫的東西。


 12、You never know if it is really an original or a copy.


         你永遠(yuǎn)不會知道那是原版的還是仿制的。


 13、They make collages with your photos.


         他們會拿你的照片玩拼圖。


 14、They do not know how to add and subtract, they just understand letters.


         他們不懂什么是加減，他們只認(rèn)字母。


 15、They idolize people who nobody knows and speak of them as if they were his colleagues.


         他們崇拜著沒人知道的某號人物，聊起此人來彷彿就像他們是同事一樣。


 16、They take pictures almost daily and all are cut in weird shapes.


         他們幾乎每天都要拍照，并且都喜歡裁成怪異的形狀。


 17、They ask your opinion about everything but they do whatever they want.


         他們什么都要問你的意見，然后他們愛干什么就干什么。


 18、Everything is left justified, right or center unless they arrive late.


         什么東西都要左對齊、右對齊，或是居中對齊，除非他們晚點了。


 19、They hate Comic Sans with the same passion they love Helvetica.


         他們狂熱地討厭著 Comic Sans 字體正如他們狂熱地偏愛 Helvetica 字體一樣。


 20、They use iPhone for everything, because everyone has one.


         他們用iPhone做每一件事，因為他們?nèi)耸忠慌_。


21、You can not decorate the house without consulting them.


         你不能在咨詢他們的意見之前就裝飾你的房子。


 22、They steal street signs.


         他們偷走街頭的路牌。


 23、Always carry their hands painted with something.


         他們的手總是染著某種色彩。


 24、They buy dolls unfinished for them to paint.


         他們買玩偶的半成品，就為了自己可以來上色。


 25、Everything becomes something other than what it really is: cards as tickets, cards as …


         任何事物在他們的觀念中總不是事物的原本定義。比如說拿卡片當(dāng)作門票，拿卡片當(dāng)作XX等等。


 26、When arguing, you will be nicknamed like the OSX spinning wheel (not affectionately)


         當(dāng)你們斗嘴時，你會被取個類似「蘋果平臺的彩色轉(zhuǎn)輪」之類的綽號。（當(dāng)然不是暱稱）


 27、Do not know how to dress without consulting the Pantone book.


         不看國際標(biāo)準(zhǔn)色卡他們簡直就不知道該穿什么。


 28、They hate Excel.


         他們討厭 Excel 這類試算表軟件。


 29、They read comics.


         他們看漫畫書。


 30、They want to save the world only with a poster.


         對他們來說做個海報就像是拯救世界的大事。

 

31、You will spend the day brainstorming.


         你會花一整天來和他一起做頭腦風(fēng)暴。


 32、On vacation they will take you to countries that you do not know exist and have no beach.


         他們會帶你去你從沒聽說過的國家度假，而且保證是個你找不到海灘的地方。


 33、Museums are their second home.


         博物館是他們的第二個家。


 34、They know more positions than the Kamasutra.


         他們想得到的姿勢比印度愛經(jīng)都多。


 35、They can't go to a restaurant without secretly critiquing the menu design.


         在沒有私下品評過某餐館的菜單設(shè)計的前提下，他們是不會去那家餐館的。


 36、They listen to music you have never heard of.


         他們聽你從沒聽過的音樂。


 37、They can′t cook a normal dish, they always have to experiment with new ingredients.


         他們不會做一道正常的菜，緣于他們總喜歡嘗試新作料。


 38、They read rare books: stories of children, Semiotics …


         他們總看些奇怪的書：兒童故事、語言符號學(xué)等等。


 39、When you are going to tell you something, everyone has read it in their facebook and twitter.


         當(dāng)他要跟你說什么事的時候，你們所認(rèn)識的所有親朋好友都會從他們的臉書和推特上看到。


 40、They have own iPods before you knew they existed.


         你在知道他們存在之前就已經(jīng)知道他們都有自己的iPod了。


41、The orgasm they remember is when they heard that Adobe was acquiring Macromedia.


         他們能記得的性高潮是發(fā)生在他們聽說 Adobe 收購 Macromedia 的那一刻。


 42、They have their own shops just for them and there are the most expensive in the city.


         他們有固定採購的店舖，而那里的東西往往是全城賣得最貴的。


 43、They want to spend all the money in the Apple Store.


         他們愿意在蘋果專賣店宣佈破產(chǎn)。


 44、You will never understand their gifts.


         你永遠(yuǎn)不懂他們送你的禮物。


 45、They see ordinary objects and laugh.


        他們會看到尋常物件時開懷大笑。


 46、You wake up in the middle of the night hearim them screaming 「When is the deadline?」


         你會在半夜里被他們驚叫「什么時候截稿？」而嚇醒。


 47、They see CMYK and RGB like Neo sees the Matrix.

         他們看到的CMYK和RGB如同《黑客帝國》的Neo看待矩陣。

  
 48、They dream of the day nobody will make a single change to their designs.


         他們總妄想著有天沒有人會改動他們?nèi)我坏脑O(shè)計細(xì)節(jié)。


  49、They rather pay for a font than for a special birthday gift.


         他們寧愿花錢買字體也不會想去買份特別的生日禮物。


 50、They are always sleepy because they work 24/7.


         他們永遠(yuǎn)在缺覺狀態(tài)，因為他們每週工作七天，每天工作24小時。

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